STEPPING IN

Is Self-preservation

Part 2

BOYS BECOME TOYS FOR OTHER BOYS

Mary, is Ryan's older sister.  She was Ryan's best friend and buffer between him and the rest of his siblings.  Ryan was the baby of the family, and I knew his older siblings had always given him a rough time growing up, but I was soon to learn how terrible it had been.  Mary contacted me out of the blue one day in 1995.  I didn't know she even knew my full name or contact information.  I'd spent a little time with Ryan and Mary, before he had to run away to Indianapolis.  After Ryan moved back I think I saw her only once.  

Mary asked me to meet her for lunch, and we set a date.  I couldn't imagine why Mary would be contacting me, and I was nervous.  It took us a long time to work through the chitchat, jump through the proper social hoops, and endure all of the niceties you have to endure when you're about to have a confrontation. And it wasn't even a normal confrontation.  It was a confrontation with someone I knew only through another person, a person who wasn't even in the room with us!  

Finally Mary broke the ice by explaining that Ryan wanted her to contact me.  I relaxed immediately.  She asked me if, after lunch, I would come back with her to Ryan's house so we could speak in private.  I didn't feel threatened, so I agreed.  I followed her to Ryan's house, where she was living.  I wasn't sure how I felt about being there.  My friendship with Ryan had ended in early 1987, very abruptly.  When I followed her in I felt fine, I felt oddly at home.  Our last interaction had been a very pleasant conversation, so it was fine.  

Mary started off, "Lonnie, thank you so much for agreeing to this."  

I said, "Sure Mary, but what is this all about?"  

She chuckled and said, "No beating around the bush with you, huh?"  "Alright then," she said with a huge sigh, as though she'd just dropped a heavy sack off her back.  "You were the best friend Ryan has ever had," she said, drawing her closed lips tight between her teeth so there was only a line where her lips had been.  She was struggling emotionally.  After a long pause, her eyes glistening, she said, "I think you might even have been the love of his life."

"HA HA!" It was a visceral guffa, born of bitter disbelief.  "He sure had a terrible way of showing love!"  I asked, "Did he tell you I was the love of his life!?"  My voice was raised, by hurt.  In 1987 I had thought Ryan might have had strong feelings for me, but then he simply cut me off, refused to ever have anything to do with me.  

"Lonnie," she said, "Ryan, got a lot of wounds beginning when he was a very little guy."  "The reason I invited you is so I could explain why Ryan treated you the way he did."

"I REALLY WAS HIS FRIEND, MARY!"  I was shouting, I don't know why I was shouting.  Mary walked over to me and clasped my lower arm in her hand, "I know Lonnie, you were a great friend to Ryan."

"Ryan, wasn't a friend to me Mary," I said softly, desperately trying to put the brakes on my tear ducts.  "You can say whatever you want, but Ryan didn't love me, I don't believe he even could love me."  Mary looked me straight in the eyes, and simply nodded her head, "yes."   Mary then said, "You know the old saying, 'Boys will be boys!'" I'd heard that old saying so many times from Ryan, I was stunned when Mary said it.   

Mary said, "May I tell you why Ryan couldn't show you the love I believe he really felt for you?"  She continued, "May I explain to you how I know Ryan truly loved you?"  I couldn't stop the tears flooding my eyes, or my face from contorting into a mask of pain.  All I could do was nod, "yes."

"Lonnie, before he died, Ryan told me what happened to him, and I'm pretty sure it's why he was gay."  (In those days it was still okay to believe that trauma suffered in childhood greatly influenced if not out and out caused sexual deviancy).  "Please, Lonnie, may I tell you Ryan's story, and then make whatever judgment you want to make," she begged?  

I sat down on Ryan's couch, and said softly, "Okay, Mary, I'm listening."  

Mary started with, "When I quoted the old saying, 'boys will be boys,' just now, you looked like I'd slapped you."  She gave a little smile and continued, "He got it from our mother, that's what she used to say when my brothers did something stupid."  She looked down at her hands in her lap, what was coming next was going to be incredibly hard for her to say.  She kept her head down, swallowed hard, and plowed ahead.

"After Ryan told me about what ruined his entire life, I hated that old saying, mom always used," she gritted out.  "And after that, I also hated my mother!"  Now Mary was crying.  I reached across and squeezed her folded hands, to show support.  She started talking through the tears, telling one of the hardest stories I've ever heard.  Once she started she didn't stop.

She pushed her words through the emotions shutting down her throat, "Ryan was four or five, at the time.  It was a Saturday morning, and Ryan was in the room our two oldest brothers shared.  Our next to older brother was out of the house, but our oldest brother was in the room with Ryan.  At that time our oldest brother would have been 20 or 21 years old, 15 to 16 years older than Ryan.  When our mom walked into the room, returning something one of the boys left out, they were both sitting naked on our older brother's bed.  As soon as our oldest brother heard the door opening he'd stopped what he was doing to Ryan...he was sexually molesting Ryan...When mom saw them she stopped, and Ryan said, "'She looked right in my eyes,"' and then she turned around, walked out the door, saying, as she closed it behind her, "Boys will be boys."  

His own mother had abandoned a baby, her baby, to the hands of the adult man molesting him!  

The most important person in the world, one of the people who should have loved him, saved him, protected him, cried with and for him, cared for his wounds, and walked with him away from abuse toward wholeness again, absolutely abandoned him to the hands of his abuser!  Ryan's soul, created to bear the image and likeness of God was twisted into a form that looked nothing like a human form, let alone that of God.  For Ryan the world became a dark, harsh, unloving, horrible place.  For the rest of his life Ryan believed he was worthless, useless, unlovable.  Ryan couldn't give love to anyone because he couldn't believe love existed for him.  Love may have existed for other people, but the one person in all the world, who is the first representation of God's love in his life was utterly indifferent toward him.  

Ryan's mother may just as well have bound his body up with heavy chains, locked him in a cage, and then dropped him down a deep dark pit; abandoned for life.  She took all hope away from a little child when she closed that door, and her words became the epithet spoken after every relationship he tried to build fell to pieces.  

I came to Christ in June of 1990, and by this time I had some understanding of what love is.  I could only think of one thing, "Ryan, just needed someone to save him.  Jesus had saved me, and Jesus could have saved Ryan!"

I wept bitterly and unashamedly and Mary joined me.

  

More to come in Part 3

Unfortunately, Ryan died sometime in October 1994, from complications due to AIDS.  No one ever reached out to him, no one ever loved him to salvation, or even tried.  I have no doubt, had Mary known Ryan's story, before he got too sick, she'd have tried.  If I had known Ryan's story a few months before his death, when I last saw him, I'd have tried.  

Thank you for reading!  Thank you those who are praying!

I hope you will stay with me.  The first two parts of this are just setting the stage for what I want to say about my friend "Carl."  

  

STEPPING IN

Is Self-preservation.

Part 1

BOYS WILL BE BOYS

I wrote about Lilly, an HIV+ "Lady of the oldest profession," in my last post. Just click on this link to read that post  

http://lonniesthesaltworks.blogspot.com/2015/07/looking-wrong-way.html  

In this post I want to talk about "Ryan".  Ryan isn't his real name, and I haven't seen Ryan for 21 years, as of June this year.  The last couple of times I saw him were the best talks we'd had in many years.  Ryan had once been my best friend, but then circumstances, mostly beyond either of our control, abruptly severed our relationship.  I'll get back to fleshing out this story in a minute.

The reason I'm talking about Ryan is because of a conversation I had the other day with another friend I  hadn't talked to in many years.  "Carl", of course, not his real name, is a brother in Christ who struggles with Same-Sex Attraction or SSA.  I want to make it very clear here that Carl is a dear man, and I stand with him as my brother in Christ.  Am I aware of Carl's sin?  I am painfully and sadly aware of my dear brother's wounded condition.  Most important of all I am aware of Christ's supreme power to overcome the broken sinful condition of all of us; God taught me that through Lilly.  If God hadn't taught me through Lilly I would still be focused on Carl's sin, rather than Jesus who, "takes away the sin of the world." (John 1:29)

At one time Carl was the pastor of a nice sized, bustling Evangelical church.  Can you guess where this is going?  Carl had to step out of church leadership because of his struggles and failings with his SSA.  Carl is painfully and sadly aware of his wounded, sinful, and broken condition.  Carl is not a Gay "christian."  He's got some very impressive credentials from some of the most respected Christian colleges and seminaries.  He can study all of the passages of Scripture which deal with homosexuality in Greek.  Carl isn't trying to hide, and freely acknowledges that the Bible absolutely condemns every kind of sexual sin.  Today Carl is a business man, but he told me there was very little potential for him to ever serve God in any kind of ministry again.  I think he's right... that is unless some brothers in Christ are willing to step up and walk with him.

This is a conversation I had in college with my friend Ryan:

"Well, boys will be boys!" Said Ryan bitterly.  

"What?!" I asked, "Ryan what the H*** are you talking about," I demanded?   "You say that stupid phrase all the time, and it doesn't tell me a d*** thing about what you're going to do now!" 

"Lonnie, there is nothing I can do about it," Ryan calmly informed me.  The only hint of anger or bitterness came out when he said, "boys will be boys."  

"Ryan, just take Jeff out to dinner, ply him with wine or whiskey. Heck, sleep with him if you have to, but get him to change his mind!" 

"Lonnie, Jeff isn't going to change his mind, he's on a gay power trip.  I'm surprised he even warned me he was going to publically out me."  

**OUTING was made popular in the 80's by militant gay activists.  If a "closeted" LGBT person had a position of power, celebrity, or a high profile, respected profession, gay activists would publicly force them and their sexual preference into the public square.  

"Yeah, it must be mad love, because he warned you before ruining your life," I said sarcastically.  I stood directly in front of Ryan, put my hands on both his shoulders, and looked him square in the face.  "Ryan," I asked pointedly, WHAT are you going to do now?!"  

Ryan bent forward slightly, as if a weight around his neck was bearing him down, "I've been talking to a college friend at a firm in Indianapolis.  I start working for him as a contractor on Monday," he said through tears.  I had never seen my friend so defeated, afraid, beat down.  I was really hurting for him, and filled with rage toward his former friend.  

Ryan, didn't return home for nearly 2 years.  He only returned after his former friend Jeff died suddenly.  The day Ryan told me he had to run away was the beginning of a powerful hatred for gay activists.  In my opinion any good gay activists did was overwhelmed by the more important truth; that they were cruel bullies.  

Ryan used the phrase, "boys will be boys," all the time and, I thought, randomly.  It was almost like a cuss word when he said it.  When Ryan said, "Boys will be boys," there was always bitter resentment, anger, hurt, frustration, biting sarcasm dripping from it.  It wasn't until I was hanging out with Ryan's sister, Mary, that the horrible story behind the phrase came out.  

After hanging out with Mary, that day, I knew Ryan's sexual preference was a direct result of the actions which lead up to Ryan's first remembrance of the phrase, "Boys will be boys."  

Hope you'll come back and read Part 2.

LOOKING THE WRONG WAY:

Is A Form of Blindness

Sorry God! Got distracted! Thought I gave Jesus the wheel, but really, I gave it to the Supreme Court! 

"Lilly" was a street walking, HIV positive hooker.  If there ever was a human way of life, which practically stood up and shouted, "CONDEMN ME!!" more than any other I've never seen it.  "Lilly," (not her real name) is still to this day, the hardest person I've ever met.  She was a regular at the soup kitchen I'd started volunteering at on weekends.  I honestly thought that maybe God brought me to the kitchen to catch Lilly turning a trick, so I could be a witness against her in a court of law.  From my perspective Lilly need to be removed from among the population.  She needed to be put somewhere so she couldn't continue polluting the lives of the people around her.   Never mind, of course, that some heartless guy infected Lilly with HIV.   I didn't consider the hooker and her problems. I saw a hooker and only saw her as the problem.  

God didn't send me to Lilly because she or her sin were his biggest problem. God sent me to Lilly, because my sin, in relation to Lilly, was the greater sin. God sent me to Lilly, the hooker, so he could help me see that my indifference, was a far greater problem than Lilly could ever be.  All I cared about was Lilly's sin. God wanted me to see a woman he wanted for his beloved daughter.  God wanted me to see Lilly not through her sin, but through the lens of Christ's blood.  I could have said, "Love the sinner, but hate the sin," and I would have been lying.  I loved hating Lilly's sin, but thought nothing at all about Lilly.  God saw Lilly's sin, and hated it, but he hated Lilly's sin because it was stealing, destroying and killing her.  When God looked at Lilly he saw her through the lens of Jesus crucified to remove her sins.  I just wanted Lilly to go away, and I honestly gave no thought to anything else.  God wanted an eternal relationship with Lilly, and saw her cleansed by the blood of Jesus.

It took years of being around Lilly and other prostitutes for me to see these very sinful women through a different lens.  I wasn't looking at Lilly and the other "ladies of the profession," as I came to call them, with anything but total disdain.  When I started hearing about their lives before prostitution I was shocked and disgusted.  The abuse, sexual molestation, and cruel indifference from their own families was beyond anything I'd ever dreamed in my worst nightmare.  I started out asking the question, "How could these women do this horrible work?"  After a few years I started asking the right question, "Considering the horror these women have endured how could anyone expect they'd end up doing anything else?!"  Perhaps someone will now accuse me of becoming soft on sin, because I suggest these women had little or no choice.

The fact is we all have choices, but there truly are people whose horrible early life circumstances have greatly limited their life choices.  But sin cannot merely be excused because a girl's father started selling her body for drugs when she was 4-years-old.  Still, we should be compassionate and merciful when dealing with humans so damaged by the evil of those who should have loved them.  Sin cannot be excused, because sin kills, steals and destroys.  Anyone who advocated giving sexually broken people a total pass or total acceptance of their sins is among the worst of sinners.  Progressive Christians, who excuse the sin of homosexuality on the specious grounds of questionable and completely invalid scientific study/experimentation are committing an egregious sin.

The Conservative, "Bible believing," sort of Christian, like me, are no less guilty of heinous sin than the progressives.  The sin of indifference toward the plight of prostitutes, porn addled folk, lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgendered folk and the like are just as guilty of damnable sin as the progressives.  Jesus didn't come to condemn the world, Jesus didn't come to bring more law to the world.  Jesus didn't come to give the world the bad news.  (AND DON'T ANYONE DARE ACCUSE ME OF BEING SOFT ON SIN!  Lilly's sin was killing her, and potentially a lot of other people.  There is no way to love Lilly and be soft on sin!)   The problem with conservatives is sin remains the focus.  

SIN IS TRANSIENT!!!  Sin has a "sell by date".  If a sinner dies their sin ends and they receive eternal condemnation!  If Jesus takes away the sin then he makes the sinner a saint, and they receive eternal relationship with God.

Why is it that conservative Christians focus so heavily on sin instead of the power of Jesus Christ to defeat; cure; free from slavery to; put the power of sin into remission???   We haven't, "loved the sinner and hated the sin!!"   We, conservatives:

"Love hating the sin, and ignore Christ's power to cure sinners!"

Do you know how I know the above statement is true???

When I heard the Supreme Court's decision to legalize gay marriage, my first thought was:

"This is heartbreaking!!!  Because the Supreme Court is believed, by mere humans, to have the power to give legitimacy to gay "marriage", the 'Supremes' have only served to deepen the spiritual darkness surrounding sexually broken people.  The greatest power the Supreme Court has exercised over LGBT persons has been to thicken the chains binding them to sin.  The Supreme Court has done nothing to overthrow God's truth about marriage. But because they are perceived to have power on the earth over people they have broadened the chasm between sinner and the only truly all powerful God."

So when you heard the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage were you heartbroken that LGBT people were hurled into greater darkness?  Were you saddened that the chains holding people in bondage to sin had been thickened?! 

Is your focus wrong?  Do you love hating the sin, while ignoring the sinner?  Is your anger, bitterness, fear, anxiety, and loathing driving your faithmobile crashing into the Supreme Court's delusions of authority and power??  I've told you my initial response to the Supreme Court's decision on gay marriage.  WHAT  was yours?  

DOES THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY MAKE MARRIAGE UNIONS HOLY?

It depends on the depth of your delusion 

“So you may know that I am the Lord, who makes you holy."  

Exodus 31:13
(Bold and underlined print is my addition).

Evangelical gadfly Tony Campolo has come out in favor of full acceptance, by churches, of same-sex married couples.  He released the statement on his blog a few days ago.  Campolo explains the process of his reasoning this way:

"One reason I am changing my position on this issue is that, through Peggy, I have come to know so many gay Christian couples whose relationships work in much the same way as our own. Our friendships with these couples have helped me understand how important it is for the exclusion and disapproval of their unions by the Christian community to end. We in the Church should actively support such families. Furthermore, we should be doing all we can to reach, comfort and include all those precious children of God who have been wrongly led to believe that they are mistakes or just not good enough for God, simply because they are not straight.

~ Tony Campolo on Same-Sex Marriage 

I like Campolo's reasoning, I really do.  I honestly believe Campolo has struggled greatly with this matter, and his conclusions seem logical.  I don't accept Campolo's reasoning because I can't accept it.  If Campolo were the creator of marriage, if he were the founder of Christianity, and had died on a cross for my sins to save and free me, then I could accept Campolo's reasoning and conclusions.  Campolo may claim whatever religious tradition he likes, but the Bible places upon those who claim faith in Jesus Christ, that Jesus is God's human/divine representation to the world.  Campolo is not God's savior, I am not God's savior, Billy Graham isn't God's savior, and etc.  God points only and always to Jesus as his answer for sin and slavery to sin. Make no bones about it, there is not one place in Scripture where homosexuality is addressed that homosexuality is not viewed in a completely negative way.  The standard for what marriage is, is consistent, from the Old Testament through the New Testament.  Jesus, speaking of marriage, affirmed the picture of what God intends for marriage: 

“that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV)

I get a lot of pushback from progressive Christians because their acceptance of gay marriage seems, on its face, reasonable.  I have no doubt, that they, like Campolo, have invested time, sweat, and tears struggling with the matter of Same-Sex Marriage.  The difference between me and the progressive Christians, like Tony Campolo, is I don't begin with the imagined or real needs of individuals or groups.  As a Christian my thinking begins with what the Bible teaches.  I do not always like what the Bible has to say about issues and matters concerning human beings. But Jesus never asks for my opinion, he only asks for my trust and obedience. 

Honestly, were I having a conversation with Campolo I'd ask him to hold up his hands, I would hold up mine as well, and ask, "Are there any nail holes in your hands or are there any nail holes in my hands?"   I understand that's a bit snarky on my part, but I want to establish who is and who is not authoritative on matters, to which the Bible clearly speaks.  Like it or not:  He who has the nail prints in his hands and feet, the thorn marks upon his brow, the spear hole in his side, the marks from the scourge on his back, who died and rose from the dead is the one who tells us what is true about marriage.  Jesus claims that all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to him.  Jesus gets the final say so.     

Jesus' message isn't easy;  isn't always fun; doesn't always, at first glance, make sense; and goes against what the world around us feels and wants.  The expectation of Jesus Christ is that we trust and obey him (John 8:31-32).  7 times from John 13 to John 17 Jesus makes obedience equal with love for him. That people can make their sexual immorality look a lot like love doesn't raise their or anyone else's sexual immorality to the standard of what God calls love.  Campolo wants people to accept people, and that is certainly an admirable and, indeed even Christlike attitude.  The problem isn't the acceptance of people.  The problem Campolo and other progressives ignore is that their way of acceptance is accepting people Jesus tells us are enslaved to sin. Jesus died to set us free from slavery to sin, so there is no way to make acceptance of enslavement acceptable to Jesus. Jesus accepts all who come to him, but if we are in Christ then we are dead to sin.  If we are dead to sin then we don't continue in sexual immorality.  

NOW HERE IS A BIG PART OF THE REAL PROBLEM:

What does freedom from sexual immorality look like?  What is the discipleship process for the sexually broken, and how does the "everyday" kind of Christian join the sexually broken in that discipleship walk? The Ex-gay ministry Exodus International was a horrendous failure!  The idea behind ministries like Exodus is outreach to broken people by people who are called "wounded healers".  The problem with homosexuals being "wounded healers" is it doesn't work if the healers aren't healed.  If you put two people who have the same disease into a room together, with the expectation they'll cure one another, you are in for an UGLY SHOCK. Before expecting a wounded healer to work with others toward their cure, the wounded healer has to be under the power of the cure.  The religious organizations supporting Exodus International, in truth, were, largely, using the ministry as a hazardous waste dump for people they didn't want to deal with.  Exodus International didn't fail because God can't cure homosexuality, but because Christians were and are chiefly indifferent to the freedom of sexually broken people.  If "everyday" Christians (not suffering with Same-Sex Attraction) had invested themselves in the sexually broken (and not just LGBT persons), working and walking with them toward wholeness in Christ, the Exodus International story would have been very different.  

"If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." 

1 Corinthians 13:3

Lots of churches, para-church organizations, and individual Christians gave a great deal of financial support to the poor messed up people at Exodus International.  Plenty of Christians have decided they're going to suffer the "slings and arrows" of unrighteous people who don't like Christians in our ever evolving and sexually saturated culture. 

I certainly don't agree with what Tony Campolo is doing. But I gotta say, if you don't like the direction Campolo and other progressives are going then hold to the Bible's teachings, reach out to sexually broken people, work and walk with them toward relationship with God, and the freedom that brings.  You don't have to know exactly what to do. When you offer God's love the false love of the sexually broken will show itself to be false.  Quit focusing on their sin and believe the God, "who makes you (and them) holy."  With the grace and truth in Jesus Christ the sin ceases to be a problem.  Stop obsessing about the sickness, live under the power and authority of the cure yourself.  Go to the sick slaves to offer the cure through relationship with them!  

ONLY God makes holy.  So my prayer is that God will give Tony Campolo and other progressives, who've bought into the delusion, eyes to see that only God can make marriage holy.  

Just Some Thoughts,

Lonnie   

MEN: CHANGE THE DEFAULT SETTING OF YOUR MIND!

No man is created by God to be a "horn dog"

"And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things."

~ Terry Pratchett

In my men's Bible study, one of the guys confessed, "I still struggle when a random pretty woman walks by."  The general response, in a room full of men was, "Join the club!" (chuckle chuckle).  The maleness of men has been used to excuse the sin of viewing and treating women like things or objects, since, well, forever.  

In American culture men looking at women as objects to be used sexually has been raised to the level of birthright.  The thinking is, just being born male means you are hardwired to look at women and measure them by their sexual attractiveness.  Some of this attitude may, in fact, be a genetically based predisposition, but that doesn't mean men are just hardwired to reduce women to sexual objects.  Biology, more or less, sets up the way our brains are going to process information.  Our brains are hardwired to naturally begin judging, categorizing, compartmentalizing, and etc. whatever we see.  We might call this natural brain process as operating under 'factory default settings', or biological default settings.  BUT with our brains God also gives us control of, and responsibility of how our minds work by giving us "value judgment" controls. We males may start our adult lives at 13 or 14, at puberty.   The male brain newly nuked by powerful hormones give us, typically, what we might call, in common vernacular, "horn dog" setting.  The fact guys lose our minds a bit because of the assault of hormones in our youth, does not mean we must, or should leave our mind's value judgment settings at "horn dog" level for the rest of our natural lives!  And dads should be teaching their young sons not to allow their mind's settings to stay at "horn dog" level for very long.  

Do you remember the first stereo, computer, iPod, or smart cell phone you ever got?  I remember the first stereo I ever bought as a young teenager.  When I opened the box and took the stereo receiver out I knew I was going to have to do some knob or dial turning before I could ever enjoy the sound of music from my stereo.  If I did everything right, to get the stereo set up, according to the way the manufacturer created the stereo, but failed to adjust the the control knobs I'd never hear any music.  The default setting, from the factory, for the volume knob was turned all the way to the left at the volume setting "0".  "0" means "zero sound".  Any guy who is into electronic stuff knows the first thing he's gonna have to do is start changing 'factory settings' before he can uses his cool new tech gadgets.  So guys there is no excuse for allowing your minds to continue acting like they did when you were a kid.  

The problem with our minds is God's given us prefered settings for our brains, but we've got the volume control set to "0".   We're not hearing God's voice.  The good news is God has told us the settings he has created for us to work properly, and he's put those in the Bible:  

"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look

lustfully at a young woman."

Job 31:1

 "For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world."

1 John 2:16

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Matthew 5:28 

Early in my new life in Christ I made a conscious decision to sit down and choose how I was going to look at women.  Today at age 51 I'll give you a little view of what that looks like.  

My eyes take in the view of a pretty, 18-25 year-old female.  Then my brain begins to process this basic information:

First thought: "Young enough to be my daughter/granddaughter."

Second thought:  "Little girl"

Third thought:  (Usually, but not always), "Could someone please get this child some clothing, cause everything is falling out all over the place!!"

Fourth thought:  "Who is this child's dad, and what is he, a PIMP, that he let's this child dress like a HOOKER??!!!"  

There are other descriptive words and phrases that come up during the entire process, but all of the value settings lead to one composite, unified, response:

OH H*** NO!!!!!

If you are a guy who claims to be born of God's own Spirit and call Jesus Lord and savior then you have no excuse.  You cannot simply go through life with the broken world's attitude and false belief that, "Well, God just made guys this way."  God frees and empowers us, and absolutely insists that we take control of our minds and change how we look at and deal with women. Take the time to sit down and consciously decide how your mind is going to respond to women in a godly and righteous way.  DECIDE, because God has decided for us, by right now conforming us to the image and likeness of Jesus Christ.  In Christ our "default" setting now is that we walk in love, righteousness, and godliness.   It isn't easy, but we're guys and if you're an adult guy then you know "easy" is rarely a part of the instructions we get in life.  

You know the drill...

JUST SOME THOUGHTS,

Lonnie 

   

MARRIAGE: SEPARATE CHURCH COVENANT...

From civil unions

"Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend is his wife."

~ Frank Schubert

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV)

There are times I don't know if I should slap fellow Christians or stick a baby bottle in their crying mouths.  That sounds dismissive and condescending, but when it comes to all the hoopla, whining, loud grousing, and foot stomping over gay marriage I'm afraid the Church has got it coming.  

The oft asked question by Gay Activists about Jesus is, Q: "What does Jesus say about homosexuality or about gay marriage?"   A: "Absolutely nothing!" That seems to really get under Christian's skins, and it's simply childish.  Every Christian should know that only those who don't know how to study the Bible make arguments from silence.  There are so many things Jesus never spoke about, so in the vast majority of cases what Jesus is silent about has nothing whatsoever to do with, and no bearing on anything he taught.  When LGBT people attempt an argument from silence the proper response is what Jesus did say about marriage.  Matthew 19:4-6 affirms God's intent for marriage, reiterates what is written about the nature of marriage that is put forth in Genesis.  

BOTTOM LINE:  

GOD CREATED MARRIAGE!

GOD CREATED MARRIAGE TO BE BETWEEN 

ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN.

Did God create gay marriage?  (Please refer to Matthew 19:4-6, and read again when someone tells you there is such a thing as gay marriage). CALM DOWN! If God did not create gay marriage then it ISN'T REAL. Stop giving human beings the power to create something they do not have the power or authority to create.  If the federal, state, or local government give a marriage license so dragons can marry unicorns what would you think about that?   You wouldn't care if the fed, state, or local governments gave imaginary beasts the power to wed!  Then why come unglued when the government creates imaginary marriage for people?  

You need to stop and think about this:  

Do you seriously believe you are going to stand before the judgment seat of Christ and talk about how you stood up to and fought against the delusions of a lost and broken world?!?!   "Lord, the people of the world were delusional and we fought those delusions tooth and nail!"  Which is more delusional, which is more blind and lost, the person who creates the delusion or the one who critiques the delusion?   Who is the greater fool the creator of cloud castles or the self-appointed architectural critic of the cloud castle?  

Let churches decide for themselves what is marriage and what is not marriage and separate civil marriage from covenant marriage in the body of Christ.  Let us be proactive and get out ahead of the curve, by deciding what marriage is and isn't for ourselves as believers.  We then divorce ourselves from what governments do with marriage licenses, and such.  

Roger Olson has a fantastic article about this very matter, and here's the link:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rogereolson/2015/06/some-thoughts-and-a-proposal-about-the-religion-and-marriage-issue/

Now turn off the histrionics and nonsense!  If you are one of those whining and complaining about gay marriage then you offer to research and write the draft for your church's new marriage policy, and then work very hard to encourage your church to divorce covenant marriage from civil marriage.  You'll see it won't be that hard, and maybe during the process you'll mature as a Christian. 

Don't make me come give you a time out!!  I WILL DO IT!!

Just some thoughts,

Lonnie