Is Self-preservation.
Part 1
BOYS WILL BE BOYS
I wrote about Lilly, an HIV+ "Lady of the oldest profession," in my last post. Just click on this link to read that post
In this post I want to talk about "Ryan". Ryan isn't his real name, and I haven't seen Ryan for 21 years, as of June this year. The last couple of times I saw him were the best talks we'd had in many years. Ryan had once been my best friend, but then circumstances, mostly beyond either of our control, abruptly severed our relationship. I'll get back to fleshing out this story in a minute.
The reason I'm talking about Ryan is because of a conversation I had the other day with another friend I hadn't talked to in many years. "Carl", of course, not his real name, is a brother in Christ who struggles with Same-Sex Attraction or SSA. I want to make it very clear here that Carl is a dear man, and I stand with him as my brother in Christ. Am I aware of Carl's sin? I am painfully and sadly aware of my dear brother's wounded condition. Most important of all I am aware of Christ's supreme power to overcome the broken sinful condition of all of us; God taught me that through Lilly. If God hadn't taught me through Lilly I would still be focused on Carl's sin, rather than Jesus who, "takes away the sin of the world." (John 1:29)
At one time Carl was the pastor of a nice sized, bustling Evangelical church. Can you guess where this is going? Carl had to step out of church leadership because of his struggles and failings with his SSA. Carl is painfully and sadly aware of his wounded, sinful, and broken condition. Carl is not a Gay "christian." He's got some very impressive credentials from some of the most respected Christian colleges and seminaries. He can study all of the passages of Scripture which deal with homosexuality in Greek. Carl isn't trying to hide, and freely acknowledges that the Bible absolutely condemns every kind of sexual sin. Today Carl is a business man, but he told me there was very little potential for him to ever serve God in any kind of ministry again. I think he's right... that is unless some brothers in Christ are willing to step up and walk with him.
This is a conversation I had in college with my friend Ryan:
"Well, boys will be boys!" Said Ryan bitterly.
"What?!" I asked, "Ryan what the H*** are you talking about," I demanded? "You say that stupid phrase all the time, and it doesn't tell me a d*** thing about what you're going to do now!"
"Lonnie, there is nothing I can do about it," Ryan calmly informed me. The only hint of anger or bitterness came out when he said, "boys will be boys."
"Ryan, just take Jeff out to dinner, ply him with wine or whiskey. Heck, sleep with him if you have to, but get him to change his mind!"
"Lonnie, Jeff isn't going to change his mind, he's on a gay power trip. I'm surprised he even warned me he was going to publically out me."
**OUTING was made popular in the 80's by militant gay activists. If a "closeted" LGBT person had a position of power, celebrity, or a high profile, respected profession, gay activists would publicly force them and their sexual preference into the public square.
"Yeah, it must be mad love, because he warned you before ruining your life," I said sarcastically. I stood directly in front of Ryan, put my hands on both his shoulders, and looked him square in the face. "Ryan," I asked pointedly, WHAT are you going to do now?!"
Ryan bent forward slightly, as if a weight around his neck was bearing him down, "I've been talking to a college friend at a firm in Indianapolis. I start working for him as a contractor on Monday," he said through tears. I had never seen my friend so defeated, afraid, beat down. I was really hurting for him, and filled with rage toward his former friend.
Ryan, didn't return home for nearly 2 years. He only returned after his former friend Jeff died suddenly. The day Ryan told me he had to run away was the beginning of a powerful hatred for gay activists. In my opinion any good gay activists did was overwhelmed by the more important truth; that they were cruel bullies.
Ryan used the phrase, "boys will be boys," all the time and, I thought, randomly. It was almost like a cuss word when he said it. When Ryan said, "Boys will be boys," there was always bitter resentment, anger, hurt, frustration, biting sarcasm dripping from it. It wasn't until I was hanging out with Ryan's sister, Mary, that the horrible story behind the phrase came out.
After hanging out with Mary, that day, I knew Ryan's sexual preference was a direct result of the actions which lead up to Ryan's first remembrance of the phrase, "Boys will be boys."
Hope you'll come back and read Part 2.
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